elblogdeldiez

El diez es un número recurrente en nuestra vida. El decálogo es la manifestación perfecta de cómo se define nuestro universo personal. Están los 10 mandamientos, la mujer 10 (la Bo Derek), ellas sueñan con encontrar su hombre 10, todos soñamos con encontrar un billete de 10 lucas, con llegar a los 10 meses o 10 años sin peleas con la pareja, Maradona y Pelé jugaban con la 10, soñamos con 10 orgasmos sucesivos sin cambiar de partner, etc. El 10 nos marca la vida. A todos

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Ceratiego, el asesor: La nueva selección chilena



































He regresado. Costó, es que el fin de semestre ha sido más bravo que la Coté López en despedida de soltera. Pero ya volví. Y ahora que se fue el Pelao Acosta de la selección, tengo la solución para que la nueva Roja mejore en su desempeño.

1- Que la Kena Larraín vuelva a ser la mascota de la selección. Ahora que hay mas cabros le van a poner weno pero está acostumbrada.

2. Contraten al guatón Borghi de entrenador. Si Acosta tiene viñas, Borghi es buenoa pa'l asado. Van a llegar con la güata llena pero jamás copeteados a los partidos.

3. Denles chupilca del diablo (agua ardiente con pólvora) a los jugadores como les daban a los soldados de la Guerra del Pacífico. Van a ser un peligro público y si les toca jugar contra Perú o Bolivia los matan a todos y se adueñan por la fuerza del estadio.

4. Dejen que los jugadores lleven a sus esposas a las concentraciones como Brasil y Argentina. Eso mientras no convoquen a Pinilla sino se las tira a todas y queda la tendalada. Lo peor que puede pasar es que se arme un swinger con los otros que andan con modelos.

5. Que la camiseta agregue comi auspiciador a Sal de Fruta Eno en las medias. Pero no con un logo sino con un sobre en cada calceta para que los jugadores se la tomen cuando vayan al borde de la cancha a pedir agua.

6. Que los amenacen con que si pierden o empatan tienen que quedarse en Pinto Durán encerrados viendo películas porno o un video con las rutinas de Álvaro Salas.

7. Que contraten a Don Pío de la Oficina del Japenning con Ja como psicólogo del equipo para que entienda al Mago Valdivia y al Choro Navia.

8. Que concentren en casas de huifas. Es su habitat natural y es más barato que un hotel.

9. Que aparte de Coca Cola se hagan parte de los auspicios oficiales la Cerveza Cristal, Ron Bacardi y el Pisco Capel para que hagan la tomatera completa.

10. Que contraten al aguatero de Argentina en Italia '90, ese que les dio agua con tranquilizantes a los brasileños en el partido. Así, este les mete piscola a los negros cada vez que juguemos un partido contra ellos.

77 Comments:

  • At 8:26 AM, Blogger Jenipher said…

    Juasssss... CeRaTieGo... excelente niño!

    Aunque no es mucho lo que le pego al juego éste, me queda más que claro, que este nuevo decálogo, es lo mejorcito que he oído para subirles el nivel, cosa que es fácil en realidad, considerando que están en un nivel denigrante!

    Los que más me gustaron fueron el de la SaL de FRuTa eNo, y de que BoRGHi es bueno para los asaditos...


    Como siempre, total y absolutamente disculpado por la tardanza de sus actualizaciones...

    Besos miles de chocolate y se ha ganado 3.852 MeReNDiNaS...

     
  • At 10:04 AM, Blogger Joaco Urrutia said…

    jajaja

    Pero el Pelao no solo tiene viñas, tambien tenia de la hierba rara en el campo

    Saludos

     
  • At 10:30 AM, Blogger Miguel Ocares said…

    Jajajajaja, si les das chupilca del diablo y anda uno con gastroenteritis se le puede arrancar una bala en un pique. Y si mata al árbitro o lo condenan por la ley de violencia a los estadios????

     
  • At 3:11 PM, Blogger Catalina_Araneda said…

    Jojojo, fútbol y más fútbol. Mejor hablas de los sub 20 que están mejorcitos dentro y fuera de la cancha oye.
    Fome.

     
  • At 8:22 PM, Blogger RIPNE said…

    Janillo, estás loco. Si les das trago a los brasileños nos hacen una docena para las eliminatorias pues...

     
  • At 9:18 AM, Blogger CERATIEGO said…

    Wena cauros. Se pasan

     
  • At 9:55 AM, Blogger Miguel Ocares said…

    Oye loco, me falló la pensión me salvai unas dos semanas???

     
  • At 10:55 AM, Blogger El Viajero said…

    Propongo a Borghi de entrenador, Acosta de ayudante técnico, Pinilla de aguatero, Valdivia de Capitán, el Che Copete de preparador de arqueros, la Lulli de relacionadora pública y el Kike Morandé de Presidente de la ANFP... ¿te imaginai la mansa "concentración" en Juan Pinto Durán?

    Ahí si que tenemos selección mi alma!!!!!!!!!!

     
  • At 4:58 PM, Blogger CERATIEGO said…

    Parece que según la Cata estoy más fome que las Noticias Al Instante de Via X, han visto wea más fome que esa????

     
  • At 4:23 PM, Blogger **Kriemhilde** said…

    Saludos niño!

     
  • At 1:46 PM, Blogger Miguel Ocares said…

    Ohhhhhhhh, las Noticias Al Instante de Via X??? Esas weas deberían sacarlas de la tele como a la jennifer Warner, jajajaja

     
  • At 1:47 PM, Blogger Miguel Ocares said…

    Si hasta la SCA está para que la vean puros ñoños pernos, jajajaja

     
  • At 7:21 PM, Blogger Beto_Torres said…

    jajajaja, siempre termino riendo con sus tonteras, master. Y ahora con Ocares en Stgo que se aguanten los capitalinos

     
  • At 1:38 PM, Blogger CERATIEGO said…

    No, ahora hasta la monja del San Cristóbal va a sufrir con nosotros, ajajajaja

     
  • At 1:38 PM, Blogger CERATIEGO said…

    Y las Noticias Al Instante van a hacer que echen el weon de nuevo por fome, ajajajajaja

     
  • At 8:52 PM, Blogger Waldo_Pedro_R said…

    No, eso es lo que está matando al Via X, juajuajuajua.
    Oye Huaso, el Coto te robó la foto del choro.
    Pero la del choro Navia, juajuajua

     
  • At 8:58 PM, Blogger CERATIEGO said…

    Tú serás huaso, cahero de banco regaetonero, ajajajajaja

     
  • At 5:35 PM, Blogger CERATIEGO said…

    Bah, digo cajero. Pa lo otro te falta mucho, ajajajajaja

     
  • At 8:44 PM, Blogger CERATIEGO said…

    Volveré, volveré, ajajajaja

     
  • At 4:42 PM, Blogger Eduardo Medina said…

    jajaja, la de pinilla ta buena.

    A borghi ya no se puede contratar, se trajeron al loco...

    y lo del choro, a parte de que no se le entiende, no juega ná!! yo no se que hacia en la nomina...

     
  • At 9:32 PM, Blogger bellota_b said…

    ia me gustó tu blog....aquí me estaciono jajajaajaj.
    El 10 es un buen número...sirve para contar 10 antes de gritar: DÉJAME SER!!!! Jajajajaaj.(se entendió?...ti?)
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  • At 3:06 PM, Blogger Magnolia said…

    Hola, por acá conociendo tu blog, me gusto tu estilo.
    Saludos,
    Magnolia.

     
  • At 10:19 PM, Blogger DEN said…

    Ta' gueno.
    Já.

     
  • At 9:27 AM, Blogger FeRReT said…

    oiga??

    qué onda?? se lo llevaron los marcianos??

    -Jenipher

     
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